dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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