First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
