no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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