He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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