My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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