the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
