I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
this boner is exhausting
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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