I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Randomize
