that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
