I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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