New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
