my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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