I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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