Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
You have to summon your inner elephant
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
