yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
