Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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