HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
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There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
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Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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