who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
