Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
