And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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