marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
