Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection