Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there. http://tfl.nu/5ny0
  Replies (17) Good night (909) Bad night (3396)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (208): i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good? http://tfl.nu/cjn1
  Replies (4) Good night (4267) Bad night (963)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English. http://tfl.nu/xp6b
  Replies (5) Good night (3860) Bad night (742)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind http://tfl.nu/v27a
  Replies (7) Good night (3384) Bad night (1594)
• Favorite

  (575): View more from New Mexico

  shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (575): shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed http://tfl.nu/vpxa
  Replies (11) Good night (1824) Bad night (2952)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (562): just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore. http://tfl.nu/d75g
  Replies (28) Good night (5302) Bad night (1556)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls. http://tfl.nu/z40q
  Replies (16) Good night (4518) Bad night (1284)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now. http://tfl.nu/zvll
  Replies (7) Good night (845) Bad night (2017)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (205): Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation. http://tfl.nu/ln89
  Replies (3) Good night (1574) Bad night (1101)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics. http://tfl.nu/mn0a
  Replies (6) Good night (959) Bad night (651)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (780): Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl" http://tfl.nu/k17c
  Replies (2) Good night (1071) Bad night (521)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again?? http://tfl.nu/md65
  Replies (4) Good night (395) Bad night (737)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork. http://tfl.nu/n6pn
  Replies (2) Good night (584) Bad night (332)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away http://tfl.nu/2zbx
  Replies (1) Good night (569) Bad night (642)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (408): She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up. http://tfl.nu/zn3k
  Replies (4) Good night (536) Bad night (673)

Randomize