I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
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Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
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Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic