Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision

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(732): ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision http://tfl.nu/hkka

Replies (44) Good night (3473) Bad night (1212)
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(907): View more from Alaska

I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.

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(907): I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it. http://tfl.nu/6xls

Replies (38) Good night (8798) Bad night (1530)
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(503): View more from Oregon

he broke up with me so i peed in his bed

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(503): he broke up with me so i peed in his bed http://tfl.nu/g0ev

Replies (15) Good night (2905) Bad night (1087)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.

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(508): currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit. http://tfl.nu/vzj2

Replies (12) Good night (5590) Bad night (1094)
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(713): View more from Texas

He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.

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(713): He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off. http://tfl.nu/azk9

Replies (8) Good night (784) Bad night (2291)
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(816): View more from Missouri

we didnt even have break up sex...

(1-816): View more from Missouri

you had it for us with someone else...

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(816): we didnt even have break up sex... (1-816): you had it for us with someone else... http://tfl.nu/e06z

Replies (18) Good night (2056) Bad night (6817)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.

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(403): while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see. http://tfl.nu/6p31

Replies (4) Good night (3163) Bad night (1162)
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(605): View more from South Dakota

I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.

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(605): I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies. http://tfl.nu/al7b

Replies (2) Good night (1974) Bad night (575)
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(408): View more from California

You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."

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(408): You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom." http://tfl.nu/ayfd

Replies (2) Good night (1490) Bad night (549)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on

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(505): How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on http://tfl.nu/wdzm

Replies (5) Good night (527) Bad night (1349)
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(314): View more from Missouri

So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.

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(314): So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better. http://tfl.nu/6bjm

Replies (0) Good night (633) Bad night (556)
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(661): View more from California

Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.

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(661): Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex. http://tfl.nu/usxr

Replies (3) Good night (962) Bad night (566)
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(517): View more from Michigan

Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.

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(517): Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you. http://tfl.nu/sh0v

Replies (1) Good night (395) Bad night (662)
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(931): View more from Tennessee

All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .

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(931): All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt . http://tfl.nu/vyqq

Replies (4) Good night (603) Bad night (366)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.

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(908): I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door. http://tfl.nu/eaki

Replies (0) Good night (485) Bad night (438)

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