I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
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