Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

Don't you send me to vm

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(301): View more from Maryland

He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.

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(305): View more from Florida

I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B

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(620): View more from Kansas

I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about

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17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Read it at the TFLN blog
(301): View more from Maryland

the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"

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(716): View more from New York

once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party

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(309): View more from Illinois

i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.

(309): View more from Illinois

so finals studying is going well?

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.

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(406): View more from Montana

I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.

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