Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Randomize
