Your dad touched me again.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
