The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
