from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
