What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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