Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
