with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
