idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
