I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize