Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
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