his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
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