I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
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