erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
MIDGETS
????
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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