do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
