I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Randomize
