I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
