oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
