Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
