Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
false alarm. still invincible.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
