nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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