I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
