So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
