I'm so fucking centered right now
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
