I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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