Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
