So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
