What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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