As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
