This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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