Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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