thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
