i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
two words: eviction party
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
