dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
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doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
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So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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