Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
