Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
