I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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