At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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