I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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