i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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