all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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